Chapter 27 - Complacency
Billy Jukes groaned and rubbed his eyes, trying to soothe away the ache. He'd been at this task all day and the night before, and he was tired. He didn't dare stop until he was finished, though. The captain had told him in no uncertain terms that the weapon was to be finished today, or else Billy would suffer most unpleasant consequences. Almost done, though; then I'll get me some food and a nap.
He'd had to re-forge the hook after all, whatever had happened to the old one had left the metal too brittle to be reused. Recreating his former masterpiece was tedious work for the gunner, but Billy was a dedicated perfectionist and more than up to the task. The forging itself had been the fun part. Jukes never felt more at peace than when he was putting his hammer to hot iron. The heat, the rhythm, the sound of ringing steel, all served to focus him. There was something immensely gratifying about crafting, of seeing the fruits of his labor take the shape he wished. He loved gunnery and Long Tom, reveled in the canon's destructive power, but his truest passion was in creation. Perhaps that was why he excelled in making weaponry: he could use tools of creation to make tools of destruction. But the fun part was over, the forging was done and the coals in the furnace were now merely warm. Now was time for the tedious work – crafting the mechanism that allowed Hook to split his claw into twin hooks.
"Mr. Jukes?" a soft voice called, and Billy looked up to see Peter standing in the doorway to his workroom. She looked a lot better than she had yesterday (she'd been unconscious when he'd last seen her, an occurrence that was becoming too common for comfort), but there was a melancholy to her expression that went straight to Billy's heart. She held a tray with a small pitcher and some food. "Hungry?" she queried, lifting the tray a little higher. Billy's stomach growled and he fought down a sudden urge to kiss the girl.
"Come in, Miss Pan," Billy called, smiling as he pushed his project to the side. He well remembered the last time Peter had visited him in his shop, and he had no intentions of repeating that disaster. Besides, he really was glad to see her, but he wasn't sure if it was because he wanted her company or because he was starving.
Peter set the tray down in front of Jukes, returning his warm smile despite herself. It felt good to smile; it made the ache in her heart diminish a little. "I heard Mr. Mullins grousing that you'd missed breakfast and lunch, so I thought I'd see if you were hungry. My day can't get much worse, so if you yelled at me it wouldn't break my heart or anything." Her smile faded a little. Ever since her godmother had left this morning, she'd kept herself closeted in her room. Hunger had finally driven her out an hour after lunch, but she'd decided to keep below to further avoid running into Hook. Boredom had led her to seek out Billy Jukes, but she didn't want to antagonize him by being an annoyance while he was trying to work. "Eat up," she said, turning to leave. Maybe Cookson would like someone to talk to…
"Wait," Billy called, and when Peter paused and turned back to him he smiled. "If you're not busy ya could stay. I'd like the company."
"Thought you didn't like people in your workroom," Peter countered, but a hint of a smile took the bite out of her comment. Billy pulled another stool to his small table and Peter perched upon it, grimacing as she adjusted her skirts. She didn't think she'd ever learn how to sit properly in a dress and still be comfortable.
"That's only if I'm having to concentrate," Billy answered, tucking into his lunch. "Distractions can be dangerous, and sometimes I forget what I was doin' if I'm interrupted. I've lost lots of projects because someone broke my concentration, and I lost the inspiration I'd been working with."
"Like when I ruined your sword," Peter said softly, propping her chin on her hand as she leaned against the tabletop. She looked away from Billy when she saw him frown, turning her attention to the new hook on the table. Now that she wasn't angry at him over that incident, she felt a little guilty for ruining his work. She should have known better than to interrupt someone using magic, aborted spells had a tendency to go wild.
"I don't know what went wrong with that sword," Billy mused as he chewed on a piece of bread. "It looked alright, but it felt broken. I wish I understood it." He took a bite of his stew, his eyes loosing focus as he pondered the mystery.
Peter stared at the hook in fascination. She reached out to touch the curved steel, but hesitated a hair's breadth from contact. Remembering somewhat of the manners Wendy and Hook had tried to teach her, she looked to Billy and asked, "May I?" When the boy smiled and nodded, mouth stuffed full, she closed her fingers about the cold metal and pulled it closer. It had been strange to see Hook without his namesake, his handicap becoming even more apparent without it. Indeed, at times it was easy to forget the man hadn't been born with the cruel steel at the end of his arm – Peter had taken his hand in their very first encounter, so she had precious few memories of him with both his hands. Seeing now the hook without its master was even stranger… like seeing the man's bloody hand lying on the deck after she'd severed it… hearing his screams of pain, the panic of the crew… blood, so much blood… hate, her hate mingled with his to produce a vendetta that could only end when one destroyed the other… 'When I'm done with you,' Hook boasted, 'Peter Pan will be gone forever…'
"Peter?" Billy called again, startling the girl from her thoughts. She let go of the hook quickly and stared at him in wonder. "What?" he asked, uncomfortable at the intensity of her gaze.
"You have no idea, you honestly don't," she murmured, returning her attention to the hook. She touched it lightly, feeling the anger and malice resonating within it, the destruction the weapon was capable of. "What were you thinking when you forged this?" For a moment she allowed herself to look at it with Sight and perceived the malevolent glow of power in its core.
"I dunno," Billy mused, wondering at the question. "I think I was angry that those pixies had come back and hurt you again. I was glad to know they'd been hurt, too. After what they did to me, I can't feel anything but angry at them… I hate them. And putting that collar on you! They…" he paused, realizing that he was getting himself riled up unnecessarily. He took a deep breath and returned to his food, grinning sheepishly. "That was pretty much it… I was pissed and I wanted to hurt them. I figure Cap'n'll give 'em what for with his new hook next time they show their faces here. Umm, why did you want to know?"
Peter tapped her chin thoughtfully, looking around the room until her gaze fell upon the sword Billy had made. Glancing at it with Sight (only a glance… she dreaded to see the damage done to herself), she confirmed that it glowed with power, too. She scurried to the wall where it hung and lifted it up, smiling at the faint, warm hum that filled her when she wielded it.
"What were you thinking when you made this?" she asked, experimentally putting the blade through a few motions. She was more accustomed to her dagger (Liam had taught her all about fighting with knives but swords were for the rich folk), but somehow this sword felt natural to her, like it belonged in her hand. Joy and strength imbued her and she felt almost as if she could fly, and when she sliced air with the blade, her laughter was echoed by the steel's hum. It promised protection for its wielder and all she cared for.
"Put that back!" Billy yelled, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. He remembered exactly who he'd been thinking of when he forged that sword. There was no way in hell he'd tell Peter Pan he'd daydreamed of her… of flying with her and kissing her, of things he'd only heard of and yet set his skin on fire. "Cap'n says you're not to be armed, Miss Pan. Please put it back! He'll hang me if he sees you with it!"
"Don't be silly, I'll protect you from Codfish," Peter giggled, feeling happier that she had in many days. But she gave the sword one last swipe and hung it back in its place, unwilling to actually get the gunner in any trouble with Hook. "It's a lovely sword, Mr. Jukes. Perhaps one day you'll make one for me."
Billy grunted in non-commitment as he set about finishing his meal. Peter stared at him thoughtfully, toying with a sudden idea. Billy could have been a Pan if he had been a little younger. But was he really too old, or were her godparents merely dismissive of him because of his age? He'd Seen fine once she'd helped him, though he'd been too upset to really appreciate the world he was getting a look at. He could touch magic even without Sight, something that Peter herself had a hard time doing, and he manipulated it into his creations with a skill not even a dwarven spell-smith could match. Perhaps he was still Pan-worthy, despite his age.
Peter didn't relish the idea of passing her Gift on to a pirate, but if things became desperate then she might not have a choice. If Gloriana couldn't find a new host, Peter would die and take Neverland with her. She didn't want to die, but if it was going to happen, she had to ensure her loved ones would still have their home. So if Billy could take the Gift…
"So, why are you still here?" Jukes asked, pushing his empty bowl away with a satisfied sigh.
"Oh," Peter said, blinking in surprise. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you wanted me to leave." Feeling rebuffed and a little hurt, she turned to go.
"No, that's not what I meant," Billy said hastily, rushing to stop the girl. He grabbed her shoulder, forcing her to halt, and gently turned her around. "I was only wondering why you haven't escaped the ship yet. You're not chained."
"I'm exiled," Peter began, realizing even as she spoke that it wasn't true. Gloriana had told her that her exile was ended and that she was welcome to return to the island. "The collar…" she paused again, her hand touching her neck and finding only skin. The collar was gone… how had she not noticed before? She'd been upset and distracted ever since she'd awakened this morning, but she truly was slipping if she'd been too upset to notice something as vital as her missing collar.
"I pitched that disgusting piece of black magic overboard," Billy growled, his lips curving up in disdain. Though it had been broken, it had still made Billy feel nauseous to be close to it. "I thought the collar was what kept ya off the island, and I figured with it gone then you'd be free. But if they've got another way to keep ya away, then I guess the Cap'n doesn't need to put you back in irons or lock you in your cabin."
"No, he certainly doesn't need to do that," Peter murmured, her mind turning over the implications of this discovery. The collar was gone and she was free to move about the ship… Neverland would welcome her back. I could rebond! The trick would be slipping off the ship unnoticed. It wouldn't do to escape at long last, only to be recaptured as soon as she reached shore. She couldn't fly, but she could swim and there were boats she could row to land. She realized she was grinning and quickly composed herself. Billy Jukes was a pirate, loyal to Hook and his crew, and therefore not to be trusted. Peter had no doubts the young pirate would clap her in irons himself if he thought she might escape, and then all her hopes would die just as quickly as they'd been born.
"I just remembered something I have to do," Peter explained, resisting the urge to hug the boy. "Thanks for letting me visit, Mr. Jukes. Perhaps we'll do this again sometime. I've got to go." She gave him a big smile and left quickly, deciding to take a stroll on deck and plan. Her heart sang at the thrill of her soon-to-be daring escape, and she imagined her friends' wondering faces when she returned home triumphant. They'd have a huge party and she'd regale them with the story of her harrowing escape.
Billy shook his head when Peter fairly danced out of his workroom. He wondered at her sudden happiness, considering how depressed she'd seemed when she came to visit him. He thought about what he'd said and her reactions, and his eyes narrowed in sudden suspicion. Could she escape? What that why she was so happy? Should he say something to the captain? He bit his lip in consternation, carefully weighing his options. He liked Peter and would love to see her happy once more, and nothing would make her happier than going home. But the idea of allowing her to escape just didn't sit well with him. He wanted to leave Neverland just as much as the rest of the men on this ship, and there was no way in hell Hook would let them leave with Pan running free on the island. And, Billy reluctantly admitted to himself, he liked having Peter on the ship, and the idea of her leaving him left a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach.
Billy halfheartedly resumed working on the claw. Hook had demanded it be done by mid-afternoon, and Billy would have hell to pay if it wasn't ready when the man came to claim it. He thought while he worked, pondering the possibility of Pan's escape and what he should do about it. Torn between Peter's happiness and his own, he weighed his options and found them all painfully lacking.
Patience was not Peter's strong point and she was only beginning to understand the virtues of tact and prudence. It had been several hours since her talk with Billy Jukes, and nearly every moment since then she had spent contemplating her escape. Her knuckles whitened as she gripped the railing, forcing her feet to remain on the deck as she stared across the waves at the shoreline. Every fiber of her being screamed for her to leap, to plunge into the water and swim. The island was calling for her, needing her desperately, and she felt the magic within her returning its call, pleading to be reunited and whole once more. Her instinctual responses, her ability to change tactics in the course of a battle, adapting without thought to any contingency, had saved her life countless times. She was used to obeying her impulses and ignoring them at this moment was setting her teeth on edge.
She was a superb swimmer, only the mermaids surpassed her in the water, and she knew that she could out-swim Hook. Just jump! Her instincts screamed, urged on by her need. You'll be ashore before Hook even knows you're gone. Go! Quick, before he realizes you can escape! She leaned against the railing, unconsciously raising one foot as she contemplated how wonderful it would be to be running free on solid ground once more.
Not now! Her rational mind cautioned, stilling her. There's too many men on deck. You can't swim as fast in this dress. If you take it off now, they'll know something is up. If you jump and take it off in the water, they'll catch you before you've swum two feet. And you'll be too slow swimming in the dress, they'll catch up to you. She recalled her previous escape attempt and the urge to leap grew stronger. She'd swum in a dress then, she'd even forced herself to go slow so she could keep pace with Wendy, and she'd still beaten the pirates ashore. But she'd caught them by surprise then, only Smee had been on deck and Hook had been too distracted by his fight with Mullins to realize what she'd done. Instead of pursuing her, Smee had rung the bell to alert the men, giving her and Wendy the head-start they'd needed. Peter knew that if she leapt into the water now, Mason or Mullins would be leaping in after her a heartbeat later. Prudence dictated that she should wait until a better opportunity presented itself. Tonight would be better, when everyone but the night watch would be asleep. If she could steal the dingy…
"Enjoying the view, my dear?" Peter startled from her thoughts when she heard Hook's voice, frowning irritably as she realized he was standing right behind her. If he got this close without me noticing, I'm in NO shape to be escaping right now.
"I'm not your 'dear'," she retorted, not deigning to turn to look at the man. She shook her head, trying to clear her animosity. She hadn't spoken to him since his confrontation with Gloriana this morning, and she still felt angry and strangely betrayed, but she didn't want to provoke him. It would be all too easy for him to have her confined again and destroy any chance she had of escaping. "What do you want, Captain?" she asked, her voice still sharp.
"I wish to speak with you, privately," Hook replied, placing his hand on her shoulder and turning her about to face him. Peter didn't resist, but she couldn't hide her expression as she glared up at him. He smiled in the face of her anger and offered her his arm. "May I escort you to my cabin?"
"Why bother asking?" Peter asked bitterly as she took his arm. She noticed immediately that he once more wore a claw on his arm, and she repressed her feelings of unease. Billy had imbued that weapon with a strange, malevolent power, and she had no desire to find out exactly what it could do in a fight. "You own me; you could just order me to your cabin."
Hook's smile faded somewhat, troubled by the resentment he heard in the girl's voice. "Yes, I could, but I prefer to ask you civilly. You've been a good girl and I reward good behavior. Now come along."
Peter gave the shoreline a final, wistful glance, silently promising the island that they'd be reunited soon, and let the captain lead her to his quarters. When the door closed behind them, she crossed her arms and stood in the middle of the cabin, knowing she should at least try not to antagonize Hook and yet too angry to really care. Pointedly ignoring his invitation to sit, she fixed him with a baleful glare and began tapping her foot with angry impatience. It suddenly occurred to her that with the collar gone, she could attack the man with impunity, and that realization helped soothe her somewhat. "Say what you want so I can go, Hook."
The captain appraised the girl, considering his words carefully. He wanted to smooth things over with her, to try and salvage the trusting relationship that had been developing between them. It bothered him more than he'd thought it would to see the old anger and hatred in her eyes when she looked at him. "I owe you an apology, Miss Pan," he announced, taking a few steps towards her. Peter's annoying foot-tapping halted immediately and her jaw dropped in shock. Hook smiled at the reaction.
"I'm sorry you had to hear what I said to Queen Gloriana this morning," he continued. "I really do not wish to see you unhappy and I certainly do not want you dead… not anymore. It was all lies - I do care for your wellbeing." He wasn't sure if he should have admitted to that last bit, it indicated a weakness that Pan or one of her friends could try to exploit.
"You're still lying," Peter retorted. "You're a heartless, manipulative bastard of a pirate. As you reminded me this morning, you've wanted me dead since you first met me, so why should I believe that you've changed now? My predicament works out wonderfully for you, doesn't it? If the fairies don't replace me, I'll waste away and die a painful death. If they do replace me, you'll get to - as you put it - keep me alive for your own amusement." Peter's hands clenched into fists and her glare hardened into stone. "I will die before I become your plaything, James Hook," she swore, meaning it from the depths of her heart.
Hook put his hand into his pocket for a moment, tempted to withdraw the box stowed there. He decided to wait before withdrawing it and presenting it to Pan. The girl was angry with him still, and she had every right to be. He just hoped that she could be swayed by his words to accept his apology. But if mere words weren't enough, his experience with women assured him that the way to her heart would be with this gift… provided that Peter remembered enough of her life as a female to react appropriately.
"I want to leave Neverland, Pan, but you are an anchor that holds me here," Hook explained patiently. "If I allow you to re-bond to this island, I will once again find myself trapped here, and I'm afraid I will have no choice but to kill you to be free – just as I did before we discovered your true gender."
"I've done nothing to keep you here, Hook!" Peter snapped. "It's your own obsession with vengeance that's kept you here all this time, hunting me!"
"Obsession… yes, that's exactly what it is," Hook said calmly, approaching again until he was within arm's reach of her. Peter stood her ground, but a hint of uncertainty now marred her angry glare. "Vengeance is mine – your very life is mine, and I do not surrender what I've claimed as my own. But," he held up his hook to forestall Peter's objections, "I also do not wish to see you destroyed. You're behavior these past weeks has convinced me that keeping you alive could be so much more satisfying than seeing you dead."
"Then let me go," Peter urged. She didn't believe Hook actually cared for her, the man didn't know how to care for a person the way normal people cared for each other. She was a possession to him and he only cared about keeping her like some piece of treasure.
"I'll make you a deal, Pan," Hook offered, despite his misgivings. "Continue your exemplary behavior and prove to me that I can trust you. Accept that you are mine and acknowledge me as your patron, and I shall do all in my power to provide for you and keep you safe. If your godparents have not managed to replace you by the time your life is in serious jeopardy, then I will allow you to re-bond to the island and resume your role as its Pan."
Peter blinked in shock, staring at Hook silently as she repeated his words to herself, trying to comprehend his sudden change of tack. "What?" she whispered after several moments, convinced she'd misunderstood him. "Why? I thought you said…"
"What part of 'I lied' did you fail to comprehend, Kitten?" Hook chided, his tone gentle and amused. Cupping her chin in his hand, he leaned down slightly to hold her gaze better, to ensure she heard and understood him completely. "I am trying to force your godmother's hand. If she believes that I would prefer you dead then let you re-bond, then she will do everything in her power to find your replacement. In the meantime, that healer pixie will come to visit you daily and assess your health. If she tells me that your time is running out, then I will carry you ashore myself and see you re-bonded. They'll have to replace you when you're older, so if I can't have you now then I shall wait until you're grown up. In the meantime, as you said: even bonded, I'll still own you… and by proxy, I'll own Neverland. I despise this island, but I suppose I can endure it for awhile longer. I would prefer to take you away from here sooner than later, but I also prefer to have you later than never."
"You'll let me go?" Peter asked incredulously, her voice breaking with happy relief. Perhaps she wouldn't have to attempt a risky escape after all! Hope filled her, easing the knot of tension that had writhed in her stomach all day. When Hook smiled at her, she found herself grinning in return and she barely repressed the urge to hug him. "You promise you'll let me go?"
"I promise that I will allow you to re-bond if you behave and give me reason to trust you," Hook corrected. He didn't bother explaining to her that he had in no way said anything about letting her go. There was no reason that she couldn't return to the ship once her magic was restored and her life was no longer in jeopardy. The thought of her running wild on the island again and resuming her old, irritating habits and cocky personality was anathema to Hook. He vowed that, bonded or not, the old Peter Pan would stay dead and the trusting girl she had blossomed into would continue to grow in the boy's place. Kitten was his, and he planned to keep her no matter what.
When he saw the happy, hopeful smile bloom across her face he felt warmth and satisfaction fill his heart, knowing that he was the source of her hope and joy. No, no reason to explain that this ship will forevermore be her home. I need her happy and hopeful for now to keep her in line. Once the crisis has passed and she is safe, I'll explain to her in detail the limits of her new life and my expectations for her. He knew the girl would be angry at him again when she realized that she still wouldn't be free, that her old home would still be denied to her, but that was something he'd worry about when the time came. She had too many other issues causing her grief right now, too many ghosts from the past. She didn't need to concern herself with her future, too.
"I have a gift for you, Kitten," he said suddenly, pulling the small box from his coat pocket and holding it up for her to see.
"A gift?" Peter repeated, intrigued. She, like any other child, loved getting gifts. She took the box from the captain, eyeing it with a mixture of curiosity and reluctance. "What's it for? Why would you give me a present?"
"Since your godparents have surrendered you to me, I am now officially your guardian and benefactor," Hook explained, feeling vaguely awkward at having to explain himself. He'd wanted to give her something, something meaningful, and he wasn't exactly sure why he'd chosen this particular present. It was terribly personal for him. "Consider this a gift to welcome you to my… family." He frowned, suddenly even more uncomfortable. He certainly didn't want Pan to think of him as a father, and he knew he could never harbor any type of paternal love for the child. There was, literally, too much spilled blood between them.
Peter blinked at Hook uncertainly, not sure what to think about being any sort of relation to Hook. It didn't sound like a very desirable prospect, considering that Hook had told her once that his entire family was dead, a few members of which he'd killed himself. But then she smiled, deciding to take what goodwill he offered her without overanalyzing it. She opened the small box and peered inside, and her breath caught at the green sparkling stones she saw. "Earrings, Captain?" she asked, pulling one of them from the box and holding it up for inspection. The square-cut emerald flashed in the light, and below it dangled a small pearl. It was simple and elegant, and Peter hated it immediately. It was too feminine by far.
"They belonged to my mother," Hook told her, resisting the urge to snatch them away from her. He had his doubts about the sanity of giving such a priceless heirloom to this girl, but it was too late now to change his mind. "I hope that with further tutelage, you will one day bloom into a proper young lady that my dear mother would have approved of. I'm giving them to you as a symbol of my new commitment to you. I'd like you to wear them tonight, along with the gown I gave you, and join me for dinner to celebrate the start of your new life as my ward."
Peter's nose wrinkled in distaste at the thought of having to wear that confining dress, and all the other preparations she'd have to endure to make herself "presentable". The dress and petticoats, those god-awful shoes that pinched her toes, styling her hair…. "Captain, I can't wear these. I appreciate the thought and everything, it was very generous of you to give them to me, but my ears aren't pierced."
Hook chuckled. "Trust me, my dear, piercing your ears presents no difficulty at all. You will wear them, and the dress, and you will look lovely. Sit, Kitten, and I'll have Starkey or Mullins come and put the holes in for you. If we do it now, they won't be sore by dinnertime tonight. I'll give you some simple hoops to wear at other times, to keep the holes from closing up." Hook stepped out of the cabin to fetch someone with a proper pair of hands.
"Whatever, Codfish," Peter whispered to herself while Hook was gone from the room. She didn't want the earrings, and she certainly didn't want holes in her ears, but she was willing to put up with them for now if it would keep Hook happy. She felt a lot better knowing that the man would release her instead of letting her die, and her sense of urgency in making her escape had faded into the background. Whether it came to Hook releasing her or escape on her own, neither scenario would be possible if she insulted or angered Hook. He'd confine her or chain her, and she'd never make it home again. So, for now, she'd wear her dress and whatever jewelry he saw fit to bedeck her with, and she'd smile happily at all his witty remarks. Going home was her first priority, and she'd endure what she must to get there.
Even so, when Mullins entered with Hook and smiled at her, Peter felt her skin crawl and her hands begin to shake. When she asked if it would hurt, the man merely grunted and brandished a sewing needle. After all the things she'd endured in her life, she knew she ought not be afraid of a little needle, and yet it took every ounce of willpower Peter possessed to make herself sit there and not fight.
"Peter!" the voices called, filled with longing. She reached out blindly, trying to find them in the void, but her questing arms found only nothingness. "Come back, we need you! Peter, come back!"
"I can't find you!" she cried out in return, flailing about.
"Pathetic, Kitten," Hook chided. "Surely you know how to See the Light."
There was a bolt of lightening and suddenly Peter could See the magic surrounding her, superimposed upon the now-visible physical world. She was in a small boat, gripping the oars tightly as she drifted in a too-calm sea. The island lay a few hundred feet away, and figures stood upon the shore, watching her. The Lost Boys, Wendy, Tink, the Indians and fairies, and every other inhabitant… they were all there watching her, waiting. Magic flowed through them, joining them to Neverland. Neverland itself reached for her, tendrils of magic stretching towards the small boat, and Peter could sense the island's desperate need.
"Peter," Neverland cried. "My Pan, why have you forsaken me? How could you choose him over me? I need you, my Pan, please!"
"Come back, Peter," the Lost Boys called, their voices echoed by the others on the shore. Hundreds of hands reached towards her in supplication. "We'll die too, if Neverland dies. Don't you love us, Peter?"
"Love," Hook scoffed, his voice dripping with disdain. Peter turned to see the Jolly Roger behind her, with Hook and his men on deck watching. "Leave them, Kitten, they don't love you. They're just using you. No one loves you, no one cares. Come back and forget them, and I'll take care of you. I'll pretend to love you, and I'll make you into everything you never wanted to be. It's no more than what you deserve."
The island wailed and Peter gave a cry of her own at the pain wracking them both. She had to go home, she needed Neverland and Neverland needed her. They were running out of time! Frantically, she began rowing, determined to go back to where she belonged. But instead of getting closer, the shoreline began to recede into the distance. Peter redoubled her efforts but soon the island disappeared over the horizon.
"NO!" she screamed, feeling lost and abandoned.
"You belong here, Kitten, now and forevermore," Hook told her, and Peter found herself standing on the deck. She turned to Hook and saw he held a golden gem-encrusted chain, the other end of which was fastened to a beautiful gold bracelet around her wrist.
"You said you'd let me go," Peter moaned, her voice breaking into sobs as her grief overwhelmed her. She pulled at the chain in a futile attempt to get free.
"You are a fool, Kitten," Hook laughed, his voice mocking, "to believe you could ever trust me." He continued to laugh at her and the other pirates laughed with him, pointing at her in derision.
Horrified, Peter could only scream.
"Lemme go!" Peter gasped, sitting up in her bed as she came awake with a jolt. Her hand crept to her chest at the ache from the Gift, her breath coming in large heaves as she tried to calm herself. A dream… a bad dream, she realized and by degrees she was able to get herself under control. She was in her cabin, safe and sound and alone.
Peter climbed from her bed and stood unsteadily, looking about the room. She shivered in her nightgown, but from a feeling of foreboding rather than cold. She felt like she'd lost something, something terribly important.
Pan, she thought she heard a voice whisper, a voice filled with pain and need. Another ache surged in her heart as her Gift tried to respond to the call and failed.
"I can't come yet," she murmured in response. "Just wait, he'll let me go before it's too late."
Fool, she remembered Hook's derisive voice from her dream. Fool to believe you could ever trust me.
"Can I trust you, Hook?" she asked softly, afraid and confused. Her gaze fell upon the earrings lying on her vanity. Her hand went to the small hoop earring in one ear as she recalled tonight's dinner.
It had been surprisingly pleasant, despite the cumbersome dress and formal manners. Even the soreness of her newly-pierced ears had faded to the background, supplanted by the Captain's intriguing stories and light-hearted conversation. She'd feared he'd want to discuss her memories, or to plot the future life he thought he could dictate for her, and so she'd come to the table sullen and on guard. But the most he'd said about events from the day before had been to assure her that if she felt the need to talk to someone about it, he was at her disposal at any time of the day or night. The rest of the evening had been a sharing of adventures that he'd had, a genuine interest in hearing her own stories, and a polite discussion on magic versus science – Peter had resisted the urge to mention how Billy Jukes could meld the two.
"He's been pleasant enough, yes, but can I trust him?" Peter mused, looking to her reflection in her mirror. Even as she asked the question, she found her answer.
"No. I thought I could… he's very convincing at times but I've let him lull me too long. If he really cared for me, he'd release me now. I can't trust him to keep his word to give me up when the time comes." If he broke his word, she would die. She would die, Neverland would die with her, and everyone she loved on the island would die too.
She also had to admit that even if she could trust Hook to keep his word, she couldn't agree to his decision to keep her here until it became a matter of life or death. What if Gloriana managed to find a replacement in the meantime? The Queen would only be looking because she thought she had no other choice.
What if she finds someone tonight or tomorrow? Peter thought with rising panic. A sense of urgency rose in the pit of her stomach, a sudden dread that time might be running out for her sooner than she thought. Here I am, having dinner with Hook and wearing his stupid clothes and jewelry, being grateful he might let me go one day, and they're out there looking for a new Pan! I have to go, now! I have to re-bond before it's too late! Once I'm back, they won't bother looking anymore. I don't have to wait for Hook to let me go, I can escape and go home on my own!
Suddenly feeling foolish for her complacency, Peter hurriedly made plans for her immediate departure. The things Nibs had brought her were still in the sack, and there was nothing else in this tiny room that she cared to take with her. Peter hurriedly changed into her shift and tied the sack to a sash about her waist so that her hands could remain free. Remaining barefooted for stealth's sake, she padded to the door and quietly eased it open. I need a weapon, just in case. Smee's on watch… how late is it? Full moon tonight, that works against me. Silent as a cat and grinning in anticipation, Peter crept through the ship and began her daring escape.
She was going home, tonight!