Chapter 14 – Final Battle
As the dawn approached and the sky began to lighten, the watch called “Land, Ho!” Within minutes, every man on the ship was awake and at the railing, staring at the dark mass of land that was becoming more visible as the day approached. Hook himself arose at the call, stood by the helm and stared at his boy’s last hope. He was relieved to see that the island was closer that he had thought it would be, and knew that they would be ashore in mere hours.
“Hold on Peter,” he whispered, and closed his eyes to pray. Please, don’t do it for me… I don’t deserve any favors. But for the child, please let him last long enough to get the healing he needs. “Ready the longboat!” he yelled, “and put supplies on it for the boy and me to set up camp with. The rest of you louts may have shore leave, but you will not disturb us, and you will return to the ship at dark. Smee! Jukes! You two will camp with me. Mr. Little, you have charge of the ship while I’m gone.”
The men jumped to prepare, and Hook returned to his cabin to gather things he would need. While he packed, he kept a close eye on Peter, noting the boy’s ragged gasps were becoming more irregular, and his skin taking a bluish tint. “Soon, lad. I promise,” he reassured himself and urged the boat to sail faster.
A few hours later, Hook stood in the longboat as half a dozen of his crew rowed as fast as they were able. “Row, you miserable mule-faced mutton-headed mooks!” he yelled as he cracked the cat. At his feet in the bottom of the boat, Peter lay wrapped in a blanket. The only way he knew the boy was still alive was through their bond. The other men were convinced he was dead, and Billy Jukes rowed blindly with tears in his eyes. But they rowed on, fearing Hook’s wrath, and wanting to be nowhere near the man when he accepted Peter’s death as reality.
As soon as the longboat was ashore, Hook leapt to the beach with Peter in his arms. Quickly, he strode to the tree-line, seeking a place to put Peter. Pan said he had to be near living things, especially trees. He settled on a place near at hand, a small clearing surrounded by strange trees and fern, the ground thick with moss. He lay Peter on the ground and knelt beside him, suddenly unsure of what to do. Jukes and Smee entered a few minutes later, laden with their supplies.
“Cap’n?” Jukes asked as he set the bags down. “Is he…”
“No,” Hook answered, “he’s alive, but barely.” He shook his head, “I don’t know what to do now. I’ve been so intent on just getting him ashore that I don’t know what to do now that he’s here.”
“I guess we wait,” Billy answered. “We have to let Peter rest, and be here for him when he wakes up.” He looked around and frowned, “I wonder if there’re fairies around here… we’re still in the fey realm. Maybe they could help.”
Hook also frowned and looked around. As long as there was hope, he had no intention of giving Peter up, and any fairies that saw Peter Pan alive might spread the news. “I don’t know whether to hope for that or not. A fairy might be able to help, but she would probably take Peter from us. I’ll surrender him if his life is at stake, but he’s mine and I do not want to let him go.”
They set up camp there, and waited. Hook stayed close to the boy, reading a book for the most part. Jukes and Smee scouted the area near their site and gathered firewood and food. By nightfall, they all were in better spirits. Peter’s color was coming back and he was breathing deeply and quietly. He was going to live.
Slowly, gently, Peter awoke. He felt good, so much better than he had for a long time. He opened his eyes and saw that it was night. He stared at the stars for awhile, marveling at how beautiful they were. I thought I was dead. Maybe I am and that’s why I feel better. Why isn’t the ship moving?
“Welcome back, son,” came a deep voice from nearby.
He turned his head and saw Hook sitting beside a small campfire. The man was smiling (which was unsettling), and he genuinely looked relieved. “I’m happy to see you’re finally awake,” the man continued, moving to sit closer to him.
I’m not your son, Codfish, Pan thought. Peter brushed the thought aside and managed a wry smile. “I don’t know if I’m happy to be back, but I’m happy you’re happy.” He tried to sit up, and gasped as his muscles rebelled and cramped.
Hook put his hand on the boy’s chest and held him still. “You haven’t moved on your own for five days, Peter. You passed out on the ship and nearly died. We’ve been on this island for two days waiting for you to wake up. Take it slow. I’ll help you.”
We don’t need his help. “Yes, we do,” Peter muttered quietly.
“What?” Hook asked with a frown.
“I’m just talking to myself,” Peter answered, chuckling.
“That’s not funny, Peter.”
“I’m not joking, Captain,” the boy snapped, trying to sit up again. He let Hook help him and found that once he was up he had no problem sitting on his own. He took the cup of water Hook handed him and drained it, realizing just how thirsty he was.
“I’ll heat you some stew, we’ve been giving you broth all this time, but it’s been difficult to give you enough to sustain you,” Hook said as he put a pot on the fire. “Jukes snared a rabbit today, and between the three of us we’ve been able to manage food a little better than Cookson’s fare.”
“Not terribly difficult,” Peter chuckled. “Thank you, sir. I am hungry,” he said softly, looking around the camp at the two lumps asleep under their blankets. “Where’s the rest of the crew?”
“On the ship. I’m being liberal with their shore leave and I’ve left Little in charge.” He looked up again when he had the food heating and stared at Peter. “How do you feel?”
“I feel better,” Peter replied, “almost as well as I did before you kidnapped me. But I’m still tired. I’m just too tired of sleeping right now to want to lie back down.”
“And Pan?” Hook asked, fearing the answer.
“Still here,” Peter answered. He was going to say more, but Pan stopped him. Don’t! I’m you and you’re me, don’t betray yourself. One way or another, we will find home, whether home is back in Neverland or on the Jolly Roger. But we won’t have any choices left to us if we give him all the cards. Peter nodded to himself. “But he’s not a problem for now.” We’ve come to an understanding. “I’m stronger now, and I can deal with it. So,” he said, looking around at the dark trees surrounding them, “what have I missed?”
A few hours later, Peter was still up when Billy awoke. The gunner stared in amazement to see his friend conscious again, then tackled the boy in a huge hug.
“Ow, Billy!” Peter yelped, but he hugged back just as hard. This one at least we both agree on. And if we can, we will definitely take him back to Neverland with us. “So, I guess you missed me.”
“Well,” Billy said, suppressing the tears of relief, “I’ve needed help with Long Tom, and you’re the only one I trust to help clean him.”
“I love you too,” Peter laughed. “Now, would you get off me? I can’t breathe.”
Billy just grinned at the boy he had pinned beneath him, then gasped in horror as he was lifted up off the ground.
“I understand your enthusiasm, Billy,” Hook growled as he set the boy to the side, “but Peter really isn’t strong enough for your customary horsing around.”
Billy cringed a bit, expecting punishment, but he relaxed when he saw Hook smile. “Ay, Cap’n. Sorry Peter, I’m just happy to see you awake.”
“Me too,” Peter replied, yawning, “but now I think I’m going to go back to sleep. I wanted to sit up till you got up, but I know how Hook works you, so I wanted you to rest while you could. I’ll see you when I wake up.” The other two nodded to him as he laid back down, and before he could finish mumbling “good night”, he was fast asleep.
Peter rested on the island for almost two weeks. Hook spent most of his time with the boy, helping him get his strength back, cooking, watching over him when he slept, and keeping them both occupied by continuing Peter’s lessons in reading, math and music. Billy and Smee helped, but Hook also sent them back and forth to the ship to keep an eye on things and let him know what was going on.
Hook gave the boy the time he needed ashore, prepared to stay a month if Peter decided he needed it. The only reason the men didn’t complain was that they had been ship-bound for too long, and had no idea how long it would be before they could see land again. The old crew came to visit the camp from time to time, but few of the new men stopped by. They liked Peter well enough (most of them at least), but they knew the boy was unnatural, and they never liked being around him too much.
Peter appreciated the effort Hook was going through for him. He knew how much Hook loved his ship, and how much it galled him to have to trust to Mr. Little to run things. Little was a dependable sailor, and loyal to Hook. He’d led the men well on the Blood Rose and was so capable that Hook had made him his first mate. But Hook’s absence sparked dissention on the ship, as some of the pirates began to mutter the man was going soft and wasn’t fit to captain a pirate ship anymore. They’d not dare say such things if Hook was there, but with the man hovering over Peter like a mother hen, his credibility as a cruel, heartless pirate was suffering.
And Hook’s hovering was having a negative effect on Peter, too. At first, he didn’t mind that the Captain was always around. He was alive, and stronger, and he was on land again. Being on land meant everything to him. He could feel the life in everything around him, even to the point that he knew when animals were venturing close to the campsite. He’d never noticed this in Neverland, but then he’d taken so much for granted there that he’d never appreciated what he’d had or what he could do until it was too late. So at first he simply rested, letting Hook take care of him while he basked in the glow of life. Even his Pan voice stayed fairly quiet, offering only a few sarcastic comments from time to time. Every aspect of his being was relieved at being back on land, and was determined to make the most of it.
But then he got bored. He wasn’t recovered enough to go back to the ship, but he was tired of sitting in the camp with Hook. He found himself staring at the trees for long periods of time, wondering what was beyond them. Sometimes he watched the breeze in the branches, wishing he could be up there where the air was free. Freedom, both Peter and Pan would whisper to each other, and look at Hook with resentment for everything the man had taken from him.
Peter still loved Hook, and Pan still hated him, but this time was for recovering and for waiting to see, so they did not argue or fight for control. They even began once again to understand each other, conceding points the other made. Peter managed to convince Pan that Hook at least was capable of love, and Pan convinced Peter that even if Hook loved him, it may not be safe to remain with the man. They thought that if they could have enough time here, alone, they could come to complete understanding and heal the rift again. As much as Peter and Pan differed, they both desperately wanted to become one again.
Unfortunately, Hook – for all the help and concern he had given the boy – was still a problem. With the man constantly there, the two parts of Peter could not find enough peace. The boy craved some solitude, the part of him that still claimed to be free desperate to roam for awhile. He wanted to see the island, to run with the animals and dance in the glens. He wanted to swim in the water and sleep in the boughs of the trees. He was strong enough physically now, and could fend for himself for a day or so. It was his magic that needed to strengthen, and his spirit needed to commune with nature in solitude.
It wasn’t that Peter didn’t appreciate the man. Hell, there were a few times Pan had whispered a sullen thanks to the pirate, much to Hook’s astonishment. Hook could tell when it was Peter or Pan, the boy’s face (especially his eyes) and his manner changed when one or the other spoke to him. Fortunately, Pan rarely spoke, and it was always brief. There were no headaches or nosebleeds, either, because at those times Peter allowed his other side to come forward. No, both aspects were getting along (even though Pan was so much stronger now), and they knew that Hook was to thank for their recovery. But everyone needs time alone from time to time. Peter had always been a free spirit, fiercely independent and headstrong. He’d become more tame and dependant on the ship because he’d been too weak and hurt to fight. But now he was better, and he needed to prove to himself that he was still self-reliant and capable. But how could a boy do that when he wasn’t allowed out of a grown-up’s sight for even a minute?
“I want to go for a walk,” Peter said suddenly, interrupting Hook’s recitation of a scene from Hamlet.
“Don’t interrupt,” Hook snapped, “We’ll go for a walk when we’re done with your lesson.”
“Not ‘we’,” Peter corrected, “’I’. I want to go for a walk. The only ‘we’ in ‘I’ are in my head.”
“Don’t be an idiot! You are still recovering …”
“Actually, nothing’s changed for two days. I need to be alone if I’m going to get better,” Peter interrupted again.
Hook glared at Peter for a few minutes, and the boy returned his stare just as fiercely. Peter had first brought up this idea yesterday after lunch, and Hook had opposed it then. He still opposed it now. I didn’t go through all that to save his life, just so he could go wandering off alone and get eaten by a tiger or bitten by a snake. Besides, we still don’t know if there are any fey here, and if there are I don’t want him to find them.
Billy looked up from the rabbit he was skinning and watched the two. He knew what Peter wanted, they’d talked about it the few times Hook had left camp for a little while. He also understood why Hook refused to let Peter go. Hell, both understood what the other thought, and both were equally determined that the other’s reasons weren’t good enough. Do I dare open my mouth? If Hook left Peter alone and went back to the ship for a day or so, it would solve two problems at once. Ah well, he won’t hit me so hard with Peter here.
“Cap’n? Somethin’ I been meaning to talk to you about, sir,” Billy said aloud, breaking the tension. Both Hook and Peter looked at him, and both had a touch of relief in their eyes.
“Yes, Mr. Jukes?” Hook replied.
“Sir, things aren’t right on the ship. Mr. Little’s been doing a fine job, course there isn’t much captaining to be done on an anchored ship, but the men are getting restless. They ain’t quite ready to set sail yet, sir, but some of ‘em are getting’ lax. The trouble-makers are listenin’ more to Davis lately. They drink too much and do their jobs half-assed. It’s gettin’ harder for Little to keep order, even with Mason and a few of the other good salts backing him up. There’s been some fights already, and I just know that a big one’s brewin’. There could be killin’ next time.” Billy took a deep breath. “Cap’n, the Jolly Roger needs her Captain. If you came back, even for a day, you could bust some heads and whip the boys back into shape.”
Peter stared at Billy for a bit as he thought. He didn’t like the news that there was trouble on the ship, and he felt some worry for those crewmen on board that he liked. “Captain, we should go back to the ship.”
Hook glanced at Peter and rolled his eyes. “I thought you wanted some time alone, now you want back on the ship?”
“If Davis has friends and they want to make trouble for our crew, then we have to go and stop them,” Peter replied.
Our crew, Hook mused. He smiled at the small tell that signified Peter had accepted the ship and the men as a part of his life. Perhaps I should give him time alone… but I can’t be sure something bad won’t happen. “I’ll think about it. I think, Mr. Jukes, that a few of our loyal shipmates should come visit me tonight. I need more information, but Mr. Little can’t come see me himself. Mason should stay aboard and lend his muscle. Leave the rabbit, I’ll finish and start it to cooking. Invite a couple of shipmates over for supper tonight, and bring some bread back with you.”
Billy stood and wiped the blood off his hands. “Ay, Cap’n. I’ll be back shortly.” With a nod to his Captain and his friend, he left.
Mullins and Corzone joined Smee, Jukes, Hook and Peter for supper that night. The Captain listened intently to the men as they told him of some of the problems, and which men had been causing them. He knew he needed to go back and restore order. But what to do with Peter?
Peter looked at Hook when the men were gone, and the need in his eyes gave Hook pause. “Sir, I really don’t want to go back to the ship. Not yet. But you need to go back, soon. What if you go tomorrow and leave me here alone. I won’t roam far, and I’ll meet you back here for supper. Please, just let me have some time.” He saw Hook was about to object, could feel the man’s resolve hardening, and he pressed on. “You trusted Pan when he told you to bring us here. But you don’t trust me when I tell you I need to be alone. That really hurts,” he trailed off and looked away.
Hook stared at the boy, thinking about what he’d said. “I do trust you. I know you need to be alone. I just don’t know if your need outweighs the risks involved.” He held up his hook when Peter tried to speak. “Listen to me now, boy, and do not argue with me further. I am your Captain, and when I make a decision, you will not keep wheedling me, trying to change my mind. I will think about your request, and I’ll let you know what I decide to do tomorrow. Now, go to sleep.”
Peter nodded, knowing better than to say anything else about it. He laid down and pulled his blanket over him. “Goodnight, Captain.”
“Goodnight, Peter,” Hook said, getting ready for sleep himself.
“Goodnight, Codfish,” Pan sang, “Don’t sleep too soundly.”
“Sweet dreams, Pan. I hope you don’t wake up,” Hook retorted, and heard the boy giggle. A minute later, Peter was fast asleep. He’s getting worse. The island has healed him, but Pan’s benefited most of all. He and Peter are on equal footing, and I fear that Peter only retains control because Pan lets him. I’m going to have to do something before we sail again. I don’t know what, but I have to eliminate Pan forever… for Peter’s safety and my own.
“Captain, for the last time, please go,” Peter said in exasperation. “I’ll be fine. I want to explore the island. I need to feel like I can depend on myself again. I’m not a baby, I’m Peter Pan. I lived on my own for longer than you were alive, and I need this. Please,” he repeated, “go back and take care of your ship. Those are pirates, and they’ll turn on you if you don’t remind them that you’re still the dreaded Captain Hook. And when you’re done, come back here and you’ll see how much better I am.”
Hook wanted to argue with the boy, but Peter was right. He had to go back. He didn’t want to leave Peter alone, but he also knew better than to drag the boy with him to the ship. Peter wasn’t ready yet, and if it came to a battle on the Jolly Roger, he didn’t know if the boy could actually kill a man. Pan probably could, but would Peter be able to come back after that? He’d offered to have Billy stay with him, but Peter refused, and Hook had a feeling that Peter would conveniently ‘lose’ Billy for a while if he left them here. Still, though, he hesitated. “I can’t. I know you can take care of yourself, Peter…” he began.
“You’re afraid, aren’t you Codfish,” Pan growled suddenly.
“I fear no one, especially not you! Now go, Peter and I were discussing something,” Hook spat angrily.
“Peter’s tired of arguing with you, so he let me try,” Pan said. “You’re afraid I’ll find some fairies on this island, and they’ll send me back. What happened to the man that claimed to love us… who was going to break the spell to send us home?”
“You’re not dying anymore, so there’s no reason to send you back.”
Pan laughed. See? Even if you asked to go home, he wouldn’t release us. If he loved you, he would. “I’m not worried about that right now. I’m tired of being under your thumb, and even though Peter wouldn’t put it like that, he is too. Go whip your men back into submission, show them who is Captain. As much as I like this island, it isn’t Neverland, and we have no wish to be stranded here. There are no fairies here that we can tell. If they are here, they have no wish to speak with us. Every fey knows Peter Pan, it’s our kinship. But I have a feeling this spell you have us under has cut us off so completely that they would probably not even recognize us.”
“Why should I believe you?” Hook sneered.
“Have I lied to you yet? Hid the truth, yes, but I’ve not lied to you. As much as I hate you, and as much as I’d love to see the color of your blood, I’ve played by the rules for Peter.” He drew the dagger he’d lifted from Hook the night before while Hook and Peter slept and smiled, “but rules can be broken. Go, Captain, or we’ll have a fight that you and Peter both will regret.” Stop it! Peter thought, but he’d let Pan come forward and he couldn’t take it back. “Or are you afraid to fight me?”
Hook had his sword halfway out before he stopped himself. He hated this boy as much as he loved Peter, and it was all he could do to keep himself from attacking. He stood there with his hand on the hilt, quivering in rage. He knew Pan was goading him, and it just made him angrier to realize the brat was succeeding.
“There it is,” Pan said in a sing-song voice. “You do hate us.” He giggled and his feet lifted off the ground.
Seeing Pan float reinforced Hook’s anger, but it frightened him, too. “How? You don’t have pixie dust, so how are you flying?”
Pan shrugged, “I have no idea. I’m not really flying, just floating, but maybe I don’t need the dust. We are part elf, after all. Elves don’t fly, but they have their own talents. This makes it interesting. Perhaps we can fly home after all…” Here’s the proof, you can feel it coming off him in waves. What little ‘love’ he claims to hold for you is all too easily overcome by his hate for me. Give up and let me fight for us, and we’ll find our way home. Oberon will break the spell without hurting Nibs, and he will fix us. We’ll be one mind again!
From the background, Peter watched in despair. He could feel the hate Hook felt, and it hurt him. You betrayed me, Pan. You were supposed to help me convince him to let us alone for a while. Instead, you’ve goaded him and destroyed everything. Why won’t you let me be happy?
Because I want to be happy, too! Pan snapped back. We’re both too selfish to get what we want, so we have to compromise: I won’t kill Hook and you won’t make me live with him. Nibs, Curly, Slightly, Twins, Tootles…TinkerBell for crying out loud - THEY love us! They love us more than he is capable of, and there isn’t an ounce of hate in them to mar it. We’re floating, we could probably fly! We could go home and be free from pain, and hate, and fear. We miss Neverland, don’t let the chance slip away!
At the mention of the boy flying home, Hook did draw his sword. “I will not let you go! I can’t let you go! It doesn’t matter if you are Peter or Pan. I defeated Pan, and he is my trophy. I adopted Peter, and I love him too much to let him go.”
Pan faltered a moment, and Peter came through. “You love me? How can you love me when you hate me so much? I can feel it in you!”
“Peter?” Hook called, “I do love you. I love the boy you’ve become, and I’m the man you changed me into. Pan is everything you don’t want to be, and he brings out everything I don’t want to be. Please, push him aside and come back to me.”
“Please, Captain,” Peter cried, “just go away for a day or so. I promise I won’t leave, I don’t think I can. If you aren’t around, the split won’t get worse. Maybe it will get better.”
Hook wanted to believe him. He would have left, if Pan hadn’t shown that he could fly. He trusted Peter, but the boy was losing control. He didn’t doubt that Pan could and would take over and find a way to escape. “No, there has to be another way.”
Pan was back in a flash, and he darted forward and attacked. Hook found himself in a desperate battle, fighting not only Pan, but also himself. The boy was still too weak, so Hook was able to parry all the blows quite easily. But this was too much like old times, with Pan flying around, hurling taunts and insults, and he felt that old rage trying to take hold. I can’t lose control. I can’t or I’ll kill him.
Stop it! Peter thought, you’ll kill him!
So? Pan thought as he tried yet again to get a strike on the man.
I don’t want him to die. You shouldn’t either, it will destroy us!
Pan laughed at Peter. It will hurt you, yes, but not me. I’m not bound, and I’m split enough from you now that I don’t think it will affect me much. I can protect you from the worst of it, if you just give up and go to sleep. When you wake up, we’ll be one person again and we’ll tell the Lost Boys about our adventures!
“I’m going to kill you, Codfish!” Pan crowed. “I promised you that night that I would, and I keep my promises.”
Hook fought back the surge of hate as he remembered that night. That night, he’d broken the boy with his hate, and that act had started this problem he faced now. “I don’t think so, boy,” he replied, an idea forming in his mind. “I think it’s time I fixed you once and for all.” He struck out with all his strength, knowing he’d hurt Peter but knowing also that he couldn’t keep dodging forever. Pan met him blade to blade, and the force of Hook’s strike knocked him back against a tree. He saw stars as the back of his head connected with the trunk, and Hook took that opportunity to disarm him and pin him down on the ground.
“NO!” both boys screamed as one, the memory of the breaking strong in their mind as Pan found himself pinned in the same position again. “Please, don’t,” he cried in fear, “don’t do it again, please don’t.” Tears poured from his eyes, too afraid and traumatized to stop. “We’ll be good, we promise!”
Hook looked down at the child, and he felt the naked terror coming off the boy. I’ve hurt him so much. I hope that I don’t hurt him too much now. I don’t know how I’m going to fix him, but I have to try. “I’m sorry Peter. Please, help me help you. I don’t want to break you again, but if you fight me, I might do it by accident. We can’t continue like this… you can’t continue like this. And I can’t let you go, not anymore.” Gently, he caressed the boy’s face, wiping away a tear. “You are mine.”
Pan snarled at him, and bit Hook’s hand, hard. Hook gasped at the pain and wrenched his hand free from the boy’s teeth. Enraged, Hook slapped him on the cheek and instantly regretted it. This is mirroring too much the time before… I have to keep control of myself.
“You lied to me! You promised you wouldn’t do it again, ever! I hate you!” the boy wailed, and Hook couldn’t tell if it was Pan or Peter speaking.
“I know, son. But I’m going to fix that right now,” Hook said softly, and let his mind find Peter’s, visualizing it as he’d done before.
Peter Pan stared, united in fear, as he felt the Captain entering his mind. It was a familiar intrusion, but unpleasant, and he’d never been awake for it before. He fought it to no avail, screaming in frustration as he felt Hook touching his mind, feeling the connections between them as chains binding them together. Then, he realized how Hook was doing it, and he focused his mind on the man’s. We won’t let you do this! You have no right to be here! He lashed out in outrage and took control.
Hook looked around in wonder. He was floating in a fog, and he had a physical form. He looked down and saw his body, hook and all. He looked back up and saw the blue glowing sphere of Peter’s memory spell, and knew he was within Peter’s mind. I was merely probing him, how did I get within? There was a giggle behind him. He turned around and gasped when he saw two boys floating there, staring at him. One was clad in brown, the other in black. Both were Peter Pan and both were holding swords.
“Go away, Captain,” Peter said. “You’re making this worse. Just leave us alone. You have no right to interfere. It’s our mind, and we will work this out. If you love me, you’ll trust me to handle this on my own.”
“I do love you, Peter,” Hook replied, looking at the black clad youth. “But this is gone too far. I broke you, I will fix you. I didn’t finish fixing you the first time, I will now.”
“You did this, what makes you think you’re capable of fixing it?” Pan snarled, drifting forward a bit. Peter took his arm and stopped him, not wanting the two to start fighting again. “Let us go and I won’t kill you.”
“No,” Hook said simply. “I think I will kill you instead,” he said, pointing his sword at the brown clad boy. “Then only Peter will be left, and this will be over.”
Pan laughed merrily at the idea, but Peter stared, stricken.
“Come on, Codfish! Kill me if you can. The winner gets Peter!” and he dove forward.
Hook snarled, screaming his own hatred at the boy, and they fell to.
“No, stop!” Peter cried helplessly as he floated and watched. He didn’t know what to do or who to help. Pan was him, he couldn’t betray himself. But he loved Hook, had seen the man he was becoming, and could no more fight him than he could fight Pan. He drifted close to the fight, torn with indecision and uncertainty. He despaired, knowing that whatever the outcome, he would be destroyed.
The battle lasted an eternity; both combatants were equals in strength. Here, strength was determined by will and cunning, and they were a perfect match. But Hook was more ruthless than even Pan could be, and he gradually gained the upper hand. He bided his time, and when Pan left an opening, he surged through it and pierced the boy’s shoulder with his blade. Pan’s sword fell from his grasp as he screamed in pain. Hook laughed in triumph and raised his hook to finish the job.
Peter’s sword stopped the killing blow, and Hook stared in disbelief that Peter would fight against him. “I won’t fight you if I can help it Captain, but you are mistaken. If you kill Pan, you kill me.”
“What do you mean,” Hook growled suspiciously. Pan floated, curled up and clutching his wound, harmless for the moment.
“You just don’t get it,” Peter snapped. “We are two sides of the same soul. You can’t just cut him out of me and expect me to be able to live! He’s as much a part of me as I am of him. We are the two sides of Peter Pan. We are one soul, one mind, two ways of being. If you kill him, you will do worse to me now than what you did to me before. It would be better if you withdrew and killed my body, and it would be less cruel. Pan is who I was, every part of me that cannot tolerate life with you away from Neverland. Peter is partly who I was, the part that doesn’t hate you, but he is also who you have made me.”
“But I have to do something!” Hook cried out. “I have to fix you!”
Peter stared at him, tears in his eyes. “I’m beyond that now. You’ve tried to control me too much, and you’ve shattered what you wanted to fix. If you had just let me alone, let me be, I could have centered myself and been able to live with you for awhile longer. By the time I needed space again, we could have found another island. But now even Peter is tainted, and neither of us can live with you. I do love you, Captain, but I can never trust you. Please leave us alone. Take your ship and go.”
Hook stared at the boy and his heart broke. Peter felt the man’s pain and turned away from it as best as he could. “It’s not right,” Hook said softly. “Why can’t I have someone that loves me? Why will I always be denied?” He sobbed in grief and turned to leave. He stopped when he saw the memory spell. He saw things that touched it, memories, disappear. He saw a few memories slip out of the holes, but the holes were small and not many escaped. He looked at the two boys, a desperate idea taking hold, his grief and rage depriving him of rational thought.
“If I can’t kill you, I’ll cage you! I’ll lock you away so you will leave us alone!” he screamed and grabbed Pan.
Pan and Peter both screamed in fear and lashed out at him. But Hook ignored Pan’s feeble kicks and Peter’s blind slashes with his sword. He turned back to the memory spell and with all his strength he threw Pan into it. Both boys screamed again, this time in pain, the sounds of mind wrenching torment, as the memory spell did something it was not meant to do. It tried to absorb the boy, Pan’s arm and legs disappearing within its hold. But Pan fought it and Peter joined him, grabbing his other arm and pulling.
“Captain, please, no!” Peter screamed as he pulled, “Help me!”
But Hook had no intention of releasing Pan. He saw the memory spell try to falter as Peter began pulling Pan free, and he in his own desperation reached for the binding spell. He found the tendrils that bound him to Peter and used them to bind Pan to the sphere. The two spells twisted together, forming into something new, something completely unexpected and powerful, and Pan disappeared into the spell.
Peter stared at the sphere, which glowed red now and was growing larger. He turned to Hook and stared at the man with dead eyes. “What have you done to me?” he said softly as he dissipated into mist.
“Peter!” Hook cried and fear filled him. “Dear God, what did I do to him?” He felt himself being pushed out, and he floated free of Peter’s mind again. The cloud he looked upon was now symmetric, the irregular piece that had been Pan gone. But the entire mind was changed. It looked emptier, less active, and as Hook watched, he saw the red sphere grow. The things he knew to be memories were eaten up by the thing until nothing remained. Then, it shrank back down to its original size and was still.
Hook sent a thought to the boy, trying to determine what he’d done. Peter was still there, he wasn’t destroyed, but he didn’t respond either. There were no emotions within that cloud, no memories, no coherent thoughts. Hook felt himself being drawn back to himself and went. He blinked, and saw Mr. Smee looking down at him.
“Cap’n?” he asked sadly, “ya hurt the wee lad again, didn’t ya.”
Hook sat up in alarm and looked around. Peter was lying on the ground beside him, and blood leaked from his ears and nose. His eyes were closed and he was curled up in a ball. Hook reached for him and pulled him into his lap. “Peter, wake up!” he whispered, but there was no answer. Hook continued to hold him, knowing the boy’s body lived but unsure of his mind, and waited.