Let Me Be Me - Chapter 5

“Okay, boys!” Nibs announced, getting the attention of the children sitting at the table. “Here’s what we’ll do.” The temporary leader of the Lost Boys pointed at the map Twins had drawn and laid out the details of his rescue plan.

Slightly stifled a yawn and looked around for Tinker Bell, uninterested in the plan. It wouldn’t work, but that didn’t matter. The other boys kept interrupting with their own ideas and schemes, telling each other how stupid everyone else’s ideas were. We’ll either get caught or it’ll turn into a straight fight. If we cut the silliness out and just attack, we’d save a lot of time. He finally saw Tink across the room, sitting on Wendy’s shoulder. Yep, stupid plan. The only time the girls get along is when they’re talking about how silly us boys are being.

Slightly crossed the room and got Tink’s attention. “Can I talk to you outside? It’s about Peter.”

“What’s wrong, Slightly?” Wendy asked, worried. Slightly had reassured them last night that he’d heard the pirates say Peter was safe for now. But their friend had been a prisoner for an entire day, and she was worried that Hook had done something terrible during the night.

“It’s a secret,” Slightly said, not looking at the girl. “I can only tell Tink. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Slightly,” Tink chimed, flying towards the exit. “We’ll be back in a minute, Wendy. Don’t let them do anything extremely silly.” The brunette nodded and gave Slightly an understanding smile, then turned her attention back to the other boys. Together, Slightly and Tink flew outside and settled down not far from Hangman’s tree. Tink alighted on a branch near Slightly, so she could see him clearly in the dim light. It was still a bit before dawn, an unusual time for the boys to be up. But Peter needed them, so no one minded the early hour.

“Tink?” Slightly looked at the pink pixie, a slight frown creasing his forehead. “Is Peter a girl?”

Tink startled, her small features compressing into a tighter frown than the blonde’s. “Why do you ask?”

Slightly looked around before answering. “I heard the pirates say it. They saw Peter taking a bath, that’s slightly when they caught him. Billy Jukes said that Peter was a girl.”

Tink flitted fretfully, annoyed. “Did you tell anyone? Slightly, do any of the others know about this?”

“No!” Slightly snapped, “I thought if this was supposed to be a secret, I slightly shouldn’t tell everyone!”

Tink smiled warmly and gave the flushed boy a kiss on his cheek. “That’s my Slightly. You always come to me first.”

Tink reached into her pouch and pulled out a handful of dust. “This isn’t the first time you or another Lost Boy has found out. But you always come to me first. Thank you.” She blew the dust in the boy’s face.

“I’ve never…” suddenly Slightly’s sight wavered and he began to feel dizzy. “Tink? What did you do?” he whispered shakily.

“Yes,” the boy whispered, blinking slowly. It was hard to think, everything was dancing. The glowing fairy was the only thing that didn’t waver, so he concentrated on her, trying to regain his balance.

Tink smiled at him. “The pirates never said Peter was a girl. Peter is a boy. He’s always been a boy and it’s silly to think he’s a girl. Forget you ever heard he was a girl. No one ever said that.”

“Good boy,” Tink sighed. “Follow me, Slightly. Let’s go back down.” She led the way back to the door in the tree, going slowly so the dazed and disoriented boy could keep up. He fell into the chute and tumbled all the way to the bottom, falling into a heap on the floor of the underground house.

When Tink flew down the passage after him, a small gnome poked his head out of a bush, staring at the tree intently. “What have you done, Tinker Bell?” he whispered in shock. “You deceitful little sprite, what have you done?” He’d heard that Lost Boy tell the fairy that Pan was a female, and she’d not denied it. Instead, she’d covered it up! And that spell could have easily fried the boy’s mind. “The King must be told of this!” As fast as thought, the gnome disappeared, using a spell to wish himself to King Oberon’s palace.

“Slightly!” Wendy screamed when she saw the blonde fall. She and Nibs dashed to the boy, alarmed at the way he just lay there, staring at them dully.

“He said he felt sick,” Tink lied, hovering by Wendy’s ear, “but he still wanted to help Peter. I cast a spell on him to make him feel better, but it will take a little while to work.”

Nibs gathered his friend up in his arms and carried him to the bed. “Slightly,” he said softly as he lay the boy down, “you should have told us. Do you need anything?”

Tink landed on his chest, her brow knitted in worry. These symptoms weren’t unexpected; it was a normal reaction to be dazed after having your memories changed. The human mind had to adjust and reorient itself. “Let him take a nap. He’ll wake up in an hour and he’ll be perfect. You should have a plan to save Peter by then, and he’ll be all set to help.”

Nibs and Wendy still looked worried, but they trusted Tink. Wendy covered Slightly with a blanket, reassured to see that he was already asleep, and went with Nibs back to the planning session. The other boys, who also had been watching Slightly with worry, began their discussions again, but kept their voices low to let their friend sleep.

“I’m so sorry, Slightly,” Tink sighed. “I don’t like doing this… kettles and skillets, I’ve got to do this to Peter and all the pirates, too! But I have to. It’ll be my life and Peter’s if anyone finds out. And it could be the end of Neverland.”

Peter was not amused. Unfortunately, the pirates were very amused, which only heightened the girl’s extreme displeasure with the whole situation. She really hated the dress, and hated the air of femininity it forced upon her. It hung from her body strangely, and when she turned the skirts swished, making her feel like something was entangling her legs. She kept having flash-backs of being tangled in the net underwater, and often found herself kicking her feet in an attempt to rid herself of the encumbrance. It would definitely make flying a bit more interesting (and drafty) since she had no stockings or undergarments to wear like Wendy wore. It was a sure bet the skirts or the sash would snag on things, and the added weight would impede her in an upcoming fight.

The only positive thing she could find about the dress (Wendy always told her to find something positive in any situation, so she’d tried really hard), was that it made relieving herself (or using the head, as Hook had called it for some unfathomable reason) a whole lot easier. But any joy she may have gotten from that discovery had been nullified by the experience of having to relieve herself with Hook standing a few feet away, holding the chain.

It was intolerable, really. The man had done nothing but humiliate her since he captured her yesterday: he’d caught her showering, tried to drown her, ripped her clothes off, ignored her for the rest of the day, given her this yellow horror to wear, saw her cry on more than one occasion, had the gall to pretend to be nice while she threw up, made her pee in front of him (actually, he’d had his back turned, but he could still hear her and Peter could see him), paraded her on deck so everyone could see her wearing the dress, and now this. Peter was going to kill them all, starting with this pirate that was approaching her.

“I don’t think so, Mr. Starkey,” she snarled angrily, bringing up her fists and taking a defensive stance. She had to squint a bit, the morning sun shining brightly behind the pirate, but she thought the squint would make her look fiercer anyway, and she was used to fighting blind if she had to.

Starkey paused a few steps away from Pan, his enthusiasm for this deflating a bit at the girl’s glare. He glanced at his captain, but the man stared back at him stoically, the only indication that he was enjoying the situation was the rare glitter in his eyes.

“Look, Starkey’s scared of a little girl!” Mason teased, and the other pirates fell out laughing.

Starkey flushed and tightened his grip on the hairbrush, a ribbon in his other hand. “Come now, Miss Pan. Captain’s orders are for me to fix your hair. So calm down and let me do my duty.”

“I dare say that would be easier,” Starkey muttered as he continued to approach the furious girl. He stared into her bright blue eyes, which sparkled with anger and a hint of tears. “Too bad the ribbon isn’t blue,” he murmured as he reached for her hair, “it would bring out your lovely eyes.” He heard Peter scream, and then everything became a blur of motion, pain, and shouts.

It took both Mason and Mullins to pry Peter off the half unconscious Starkey. In less than a heartbeat, the girl had winded Starkey with two fists to his diaphragm, caught the brush and ribbon that had fallen from his suddenly limp grasp, flown around him so that her leg chain had wrapped around his legs, toppled him face down on the deck, then sat on his back and proceeded to garrote the man with the ribbon… all while screaming something in a fairy tongue.

The other pirates had stared in shock, their laughter turned to dust in their gaping mouths, stunned by the lightning quick attack. They probably would have continued to stare dumbstruck until Peter had finished strangling Starkey, had Captain Hook not begun railing at them to do something. Mullins had grabbed the girl from the back, trying to pull her off the man, while Mason pried the ribbon from her grasp. It wasn’t until Jukes unfastened the leg iron that they could physically separate the girl from the man.

Once deprived of her prey, Peter blindly turned to her attackers. She flailed about with the hairbrush, wielding it like a small, prickly club. When it broke against Mason’s jaw, she laughed in delight.

“You little bitch!” Mason roared, enraged. His palm connected with Peter’s face with a resounding crack and the girl fell limp in Mullins’s arms.

“Gall and brimstone!” Hook snarled furiously as he yanked Mason away from Peter and slammed the carpenter into the mast. “How dare you strike a girl, you witless mongrel!” He pulled the man upright and glowered at him, their noses not even an inch apart. “I will deal with you later, dog. And you will seriously regret that your mother ever bore you.”

“She tried ta kill Starkey, Cap’n,” Mason protested weakly, his heart quailing at the look of utter rage and contempt in Hook’s glare.

“If that lummox was stupid enough to underestimate Pan on the grounds that she’s female, then he’s too stupid to tolerate aboard my ship.” Hook dropped Mason and spun on his heel to glare at Starkey. The man was now on his hands and knees, coughing and trying to catch his breath as Billy Jukes helped him. Hook strode to the man and lifted him the rest of the way up, Starkey’s feet now dangling above the deck as he found himself eye to eye with the captain. “Have you learned anything today, Gentleman Starkey?”

“Aye, Cap’n,” the man rasped, rubbing his throat gingerly. “I should have had her restrained better when I saw she’d fight, before she got a chance to attack. I let my guard down and she took me.”

“It’s nice to see at least one of you dogs can learn yer tricks,” Hook sneered, setting the rattled man back on his feet. “While we shall grant her the concessions that proper form demand we show a member of the fair sex, we will not forget that she doesn’t know her place… yet, and we must therefore be on guard. She is Peter Pan, and she is still my enemy.” Hook sighed when he turned to Peter and squatted beside Mullins. The girl’s eyes were open but a bit dazed. Her left cheek was an angry red and a thin trickled of blood flowed from her nose. Hook noted with relief that it wasn’t broken. “Smee! A cold rag, now!”

Peter blinked when the cold cloth made contact with her stinging face, but she didn’t move. Slowly the world began to make sense again. Arms encircled her, tight but gentle, pinning her arms to her sides. Something was wrapped around her legs too, and she realized that the one holding her was sitting with his legs locked around hers, keeping her from kicking. Her skirt was riding high over her thighs and she had an irrational urge to pull it back down. A sudden movement close to her face startled her, making her turn away from the cloth.

“Let me clean your face, Pan,” Hook said softly, raising the cloth towards the girl’s bloodied nose again. Peter held still this time and let him dab at it. Bemused, the girl marveled at how the fearsome Captain could be so cruel and heartless in one instant, then so kind and warm in the next. Which is the real Hook? Which is the mask?

“No,” Hook chuckled, noticing how Peter had tensed up when Mullins suggested that. “You’ve got the tiger by the tail, Robert. If you relax in the slightest, I dare say we’ll be pulling her off you next. Let me tend her, then I’ll have Billy chain her so you can safely release your hold.”

The Captain put the cloth to Peter’s cheek again, hoping the red mark wouldn’t become a bruise. Peter’s head turned slightly to face him and Hook’s saw the girl’s eyes focus on him. He smiled at her mockingly, about to make a biting comment to tease her, when tears began silently falling from her eyes. “My apologies,” he said instead, “Mason shouldn’t have struck you.”

“Why are you doing this?” Peter asked softly. “Kill me or let me go. Stop teasing me.” She was too off balance to stop her tears. The world had taken a drastic turn in the past day and she still couldn’t get her bearings.

Hook shook his head at that. “Come now, Peter, I thought you liked games. We’re playing dress up. You always insist on forcing my men and me to play along with your little games. You insist on making us look foolish. For once, you can play my game. And I’m not trying to tease you, child. I’m trying to see you as the girl you really are. Maybe when I’m done, you’ll see it too.”

He sent Billy for more chains, and soon Peter was sitting on a stool, the ankle chain back on her leg. This time her hands were bound behind her back when Starkey warily approached her with the hairbrush.

Starkey sighed, fighting the urge to hit the girl and exact retribution for what she’d done to him. But he knew the Captain would flay him if he struck her for no reason – not to mention how improper it would be. Mason’s handprint still glowed on her face, a vivid reminder to him to not let his anger override his good sense.

Her defiance was still there, though Pan remained silent this time. Starkey had an image of her biting him and struggling, despite her chains, and he found that he had no stomach left to fight her again. “Please, Pan, may I do this without a fight? I’ll be done as quickly as I can.”

The girl’s angry scowl turned to surprise, and she regarded Starkey for a moment, coolly appraising him. The red welt on his neck stood out, but what she noticed most were his eyes. The respect was there again, the uncertainty and trace of fear all the pirates had always held for her was back in his bearing. A quick glance showed the rest of the men held the same attitude. No one was laughing at her anymore. They see Peter Pan again, not the Miss Pan they’d enjoyed laughing at. They remember what I really am and why they fear me. “Fine,” Peter snapped in irritation, “but hurry up.”

Starkey smiled in relief and nodded. “Of course, milady.” He walked to stand behind her and began brushing out the tangles, deciding he’d keep this simple: brush it and tie the ribbon as a headband, letting the hair hang long and loose behind her.

Peter relaxed and let Starkey brush her hair, almost immediately beginning to enjoy the session. It wasn’t nearly as nice as when Wendy did this for her, but it still soothed her, despite her discomfort. Maybe being a girl won’t be so bad, she mused. Wendy hasn’t ever complained, except when we’d say she couldn’t do something because she was a girl… and she always proved us wrong. It’ll keep the pirates on their toes. Could be interesting to see how I can turn this against Hook. Smiling softly and closing her eyes, Peter decided to give it a shot.

Starkey finished tying the ribbon in Peter’s hair and gave his handiwork a critical stare. “Well, Captain, I dare say it’s not bad, considering I haven’t touched a woman’s hair in quite awhile.”

“It will do,” Hook answered, smiling at the result. Pan definitely looked more like a young girl with her hair loose. There was a natural curl to Peter’s hair, and Starkey had managed to get a few ringlets to frame her face. “Smee, let Miss Pan see how lovely she looks.”

Peter glared at Hook, but some of her anger disappeared when she saw the man wasn’t making fun of her. If anything he looked sincere, so when the bosun approached with the mirror, Peter refrained from kicking it out of his hands. Instead, she looked at her reflection, and felt a jolt go through her at how different she looked. At first, she didn’t recognize the strangely familiar girl she saw staring back at her. Despite knowing now that she was a girl, she still had expected to see a boy in the mirror. I wonder if I’m pretty. What will the Lost Boys think when they see me?

As if on cue, Nibs’s voice cut through the morning air. “LOST BOYS! ATTACK!” Peter and the pirates looked up in surprise, scanning the air for the incoming boys. Nibs, Curly, Twins, Tootles, and John were barreling towards the pirate ship, swords drawn as they shouted their war cries of “Death to pirates!” and “Free Peter!”

Where’s Wendy and Slightly? Peter mused as she watched the pirates scramble to repel the attackers. As usual, Hook started shouting orders at his men, Billy Jukes and Starkey began bringing Long Tom around, and the other men drew their weapons and stood their ground.

“Peter,” Wendy whispered from close behind her, and Peter turned her head to see the girl come creeping out from behind some crates. Wendy stopped when she got a good look at her friend. “Peter?” she asked, confused. The strange girl looked like Peter Pan…

“Wendy!” Peter hissed, smiling. “Where’s Tink? Get me out of these things!” she whispered back, giving the manacles a shake for emphasis.

“Peter?” Slightly called as he stepped beside Wendy, his dagger drawn. “Why are you slightly dressed like a girl?”

Slightly frowned, his headache coming back. I thought Tink’s magic was supposed to make me feel better. Somehow, seeing Peter in the dress made him feel dizzy, but he shook it off. Now was not the time. He dashed to his leader and began prying at the manacles with his dagger, trying to spring the catch with the blade so the cuffs would open. “Tink, get the one on his foot,” Slightly ordered. By the chiming he heard beneath him, he knew the pixie had gone to do just that. There was one positive thing about being captured by pirates a lot: it made you good at springing locks. And Billy was pretty good about giving his friend tips on opening his locks - a secret Slightly kept, not only to protect his alliance with the pirate, but also because it was nice being better at something than the other boys were. Only Tink could pick a lock faster, and that’s because she could reach into the keyholes better. In seconds the manacles fell to the deck with a loud clang, and Peter was leaping into the air with a loud crow.

Hook spun in surprise at the sound and began swearing when he saw his prisoner lifting away from the deck, Slightly and Wendy a heartbeat behind her. “Get back down here, Pan! I’m not done with you yet!”

Peter laughed and gave a mock bow. “Some other time, Captain Codfish! I thank you for your hospitality, but I really must go home and find some decent clothes. Something a little more suitable for crossing blades in.”

Nibs and the other boys had broken away from the battle when they heard Peter crow. They hadn’t really spared a thought for where their leader had been on deck, being too preoccupied with fighting the men and avoiding any cannon shot Jukes might send their way. So when they scanned the area for Peter Pan, and instead saw Wendy and Slightly flying beside a girl in a yellow dress, they looked at one another in confusion and waited for the three to join them.

“Wendy? Where’s Peter?” Nibs called, reluctant to fly away until he was sure Peter was safe.

“Right here,” the strange girl called, flying to hover beside the crow’s nest where Nibs and the other boys waited. Peter saw the way her boys stared at her, the confusion plainly stamped on their faces. “It’s me, Peter.”

“Why are you dressed like a girl?” Curly asked, smiling. “Is it a new game?”

Peter opened her mouth to answer, but something small yet strong covered her mouth. “Don’t say anything, Peter,” Tink admonished, holding her hands against the girl’s lips. This had gotten out of hand, and the little pixie wasn’t looking forward to the damage control she’d have to do. She’d expected that she’d have to alter the pirates’ and Peter’s memories… but with her “boy” in a dress, it was going to be a lot harder to keep anyone else from finding out. As long as Peter didn’t affirm that she was a girl, Tink could just claim that Hook had been out to embarrass Peter by putting her in girl’s clothes. The pixie didn’t want to use that particular spell on the Lost Boys any more than she had to.

“Oh, I think Peter should say something,” a loud, drawling voice called. “As a matter of fact, I think the both of you have a lot of explaining to do, Tinker Bell.” With those words, the children found themselves falling. They cried out in panic, striving to regain altitude as they plummeted towards the deck of the ship. The pirates, who also had heard the voice, gasped as they beheld the children drop. When they were only a few feet from the deck their rapid descent slowed, letting them alight gently and safely.

“Tink? What happened?” Peter asked as she regained her footing. The pixie also stood upon the wooden deck, grounded by the same loss of magic that had affected her charges. Before she could answer, glowing blue mist surrounded both her and Peter, coalescing into magical bands that bound their arms and legs, rendering them immobile. “Tink!” Peter yelped as she lost her balance and fell to her side.

“Great gobs of galleon grease!” Hook barked when he tried to move. He’d intended to get his hand on Pan, to take advantage of her sudden restraint, but he found that his feet wouldn’t lift from the deck. A quick glance around showed that his men and all of Pan’s brats suffered the same misfortune.

There was a rustling sound, as of a flock of birds alighting in an autumn tree, and the air shimmered in the center of the deck. Two tall forms appeared - a man and a woman. They were regal in their bearings, with crowns upon their brows. On their backs fluttered wings reminiscent of butterflies: fairy wings. Tinker Bell moaned and bowed her head when she recognized the two figures. The rest of the humans remained silent.

Peter pulled herself into a sitting position and stared at the man and woman. She recognized them, but she’d never seen them human-sized, and rarely had she ever seen them outside of Tintagel. “King Oberon, Queen Gloriana,” she greeted formally, mindful of her manners enough to bow her head. If she hadn’t been bound, she would have kneeled. Peter didn’t stand on ceremony unless it suited her… except when it came to Oberon and Gloriana, her godparents.

She looked up again and her breath caught in her throat when her eyes met those of the King. Those eyes glared at her balefully, his face contorted in rage. Peter had never seen Oberon so upset, and Peter had done a great many things that irritated her godfather. A quick glance at Gloriana added to her dismay. Her godmother had always been there to sooth the King, to make everything alright. But the Queen stared at Peter coldly, and the girl knew that she could expect no help there.

“Majesties,” Peter called softly, “what’s wrong? Why have you bound us?”

“I heard a nasty little rumor, Peter Pan,” Oberon hissed angrily. “I heard that you’ve been lying to me; that you’ve lied to me from the very beginning. So I came here to see my godson, to ask him to tell me I’ve heard wrong. But instead of the lad I took in and made my ward, I find a maid! Would anyone care to explain this to me?” The fairy’s hands clenched angrily and the glare he fixed on his prisoners promised dire consequences if the answers he received weren’t what he wished to hear.

Oh, Peter, Tink thought in despair. I’m so sorry. He’ll kill me for sure, and as angry as he is, he may kill you too. The pixie knew there was no escape. The game was up, Peter’s secret was out, and she and the little girl were about to pay the ultimate price… and Peter wouldn’t even know why.

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