Chapter 12 – Dark Days
Gloriana came awake with a cry, her arms flailing as she fought her disorientation and panic. Slowly, the room registered in her mind – fey candles in the sconces, butterfly tapestries, spider silk sheets and milkweed-down pillows providing a sharp contrast to the small, dark room, lumpy mattress and thin blankets of her rapidly fading dream. Here was warmth and peace. There had been cold and pain. She sat up quickly and let her husband’s loving arms enfold her, and soon she lay crying against his chest, thankful for his soft words and gentle caresses.
“Glory, my Queen,” he murmured, “what happened? You fainted at the seeing-stone. Are you well?”
“Ron,” Gloriana moaned, the terrors slipping away. “I saw her memories. I didn’t see much, they’re all confused and too clouded by fear to understand, but oh, they hurt!” She gripped Oberon harder. “What if she had reason to hide her gender? She didn’t know us very well… she’s been so hurt… what if she was afraid we’d be cruel?”
“Then I think we’ve justified her fears,” Oberon answered. “I was very cruel to her.” He looked down and Gloriana and lovingly stroked her face. “We must find out the truth.”
“No, not right now,” Glory answered, returning his gaze. “And maybe it would be best if we left her memories alone. The collar is too unpredictable, and it’s wedded to her too tightly. Once her fear and anger become too much, the collar’s protections take over and we lose control. I lost control and it overwhelmed us both. She’s afraid of us, Ron! She feels betrayed and she thinks we don’t love her anymore.”
“Of course we still love her!” Oberon snapped angrily. “She betrayed us!” He sighed and shook his head sadly. “I was angry and I acted without thinking, and I hurt her, badly. We have to understand what happened and why.”
“No prodding her memories, Ron. Not until it’s absolutely necessary.”
Oberon nodded. “We have another problem. The elder one, Billy Jukes, has failed the test. Something is wrong with him, and I need Peter to See him. If she’s suffered as you have, I’m loath to do this now, but if we don’t do something soon the boy will go mad.”
Gloriana considered for a few moments. “I’ll put him to sleep and lock him away, that should help him for a few hours more. That will give Peter time to calm down. Which boy will we test next?”
“The Lost Boys still refuse to cooperate. Slightly bit the last guard that tried to touch Billy, and Nibs and John tried to escape for the fifth time.”
“Wendy is no longer with Peter. The pirate Captain sent her away when she and Peter tried to regain the island. I will collect her after I’ve seen to Billy. She can calm the Lost Boys and they’ll obey her.” Gloriana frowned. “I don’t like the collar, my King. It will do her far more harm than good. She’s going to weaken with it on, and she’ll weaken faster if she’s away from the isle for too long. We should at least send her to the Indians. Panther will watch her well… I don’t trust Hook.”
Oberon stood and crossed the room to stand before a large tapestry. Upon it were scores of symbols stitched in gold – the names of every Pan, back to the beginning. The last symbol, Peter’s, glowed. “If she’s weakened, it will be safer to revoke the gift when the new Pan is found. We’ll be able to sever her link to the island without hurting her again. But we must hurry and finish testing the Lost Boys, I don’t know how long we can safely keep her cut off from Neverland. I’ll take Billy Jukes to Peter. You’ll find Wendy and bring her here. We must test the other children and discover which one is to be the next Pan.”
Gloriana joined her husband at the tapestry. “And if none of the Lost Boys are Pan-worthy?”
“Then we have a most serious problem, my Queen.”
Not long after Peter finished her lunch, Mullins knocked on the door. Peter called for the visitor to enter and smiled when she saw who it was. She wasn’t fond of Mullins or Cookson, but their regular visits to her cabin during her imprisonment had been a source of relief from boredom. She’d quickly come to appreciate their company. Her smile turned to a frown when the man stepped further into the lamplight.
“What happened to your face, Mr. Mullins?” she asked, seeing his bruised, swollen cheek.
“It’s what happens when ya mouth off to th’ Cap’n and can’t fly outta his reach,” the man answered gruffly. “Keep that in mind while yer here. Bein’ a girl protects ya, but it don’t spare ya from one of Hook’s rules: spare the rod an’ spoil the child.”
Peter grimaced at the familiar adage, but she nodded her agreement. She knew Hook only played the gentleman when it suited him; she had the bruises on her back and cuts on her body (small as they were) to prove that he would hit her if she made him angry enough. “Does he hit Billy Jukes much?”
Mullins’s face tightened in worry and he shook his head. “No, I think I can count on one hand th’ number of times he’s punished Billy, and every time it was done proper. Billy’s got th’ brains to stay outta Hook’s way, and if he defies him it’s done so he won’t get caught. Billy’s been hurt enough; Hook knows it an’ keeps his fists off him.”
“Well, that’s right decent of the Captain,” Peter said sarcastically.
Mullins chuckled. “Decent? Maybe, maybe not. I think it’s mostly that Hook knows if ya beat a dog too much, he gets so cowered that he’s useless – or he goes mad an’ tries to kill everyone in sight. Billy was near that breakin’ point when we found ‘im, and th’ rest of th’ crew didn’t help undo th’ damage any. I tried to be nice to Billy, and when Hook saw how smart th’ lad was he gave him to me to look out for… and made it clear to th’ other men to lay off.”
The pirate shook himself, realizing he missed the boy so much that he was getting nostalgic. “Just like Hook put me in charge of you, but I won’t be fer much longer. Cookson and Smee will be taskin’ ya, and yer free to go about th’ ship, so I don’t have to guard you any more. But if anyone gives you trouble, you let me know and I’ll take care of ‘em. Cap’n don’t want no one messin’ with ya, and he’ll take it outta my hide if anyone does. Most of th’ men still don’t like ya, specially Mason.” When Peter nodded her understanding, Mullins beckoned for her to follow. “Smee’s got somethin’ for ya on deck.”
Intrigued and ready to get out of the stuffy room, Peter followed the pirate outside. When she stepped into the afternoon sunlight, she immediately noticed that the deck was abandoned. Shortly after that she saw the strange set-up Mullins was leading her to. There was a large tub of steaming hot water, sail-cloths hung around it like curtains.
“Smee says you need a bath, and th’ Cap’n agreed,” Mullins explained. “We don’t have to worry ‘bout you escapin’, so we don’t have to stand guard or tie you down. Everyone else is below, ‘cept for Smee and Hook. Those two are in th’ cabin. You need anything, holler and Smee’ll bring it.”
Peter looked doubtfully at the tub. “I already had a bath this week… I haven’t been here a week, have I?”
“Close, but not quite. But you should take one anyway.”
“But the water’s hot! Won’t it burn me?”
Mullins frowned but put his hand in the water. “It’s not that hot. I wish this were MY tub, I’d love a hot bath.”
“Hot bath,” Peter repeated, putting her own hand in the water. It felt nice. “I’ve only had cold ones. I hate taking a bath in the mornings because it’s so cold.”
“I think you’ll like this, then,” he told her. He took a moment to show her the soap and towels, and where Smee had left her clothes. Once he was done, he pulled the sails closed and left her to it.
Peter undressed and gingerly stepped into the water. In no time she was sitting in the tub, eyes closed as she luxuriated in the relaxing heat. “Wendy, if somehow everything turns out right, from now on all our baths will be hot.” She immediately loved the feel of the hot liquid embracing her body, easing her tense muscles. For just a little while, she let herself forget about everything that was wrong in her life. “Thank you, Mr. Smee,” she called out. After a moment’s hesitation, she added, “Thank you, Captain.”
Standing in the doorway of his cabin, Hook smiled as he stared at the sailcloth surrounding the tub. Another small victory for me in our little battle of wills, Pan. He’d expected a fight when Mullins led the girl to the tub, but he’d been pleasantly surprised to see her comply. And then she’d thanked him! I don’t know if your little growth spurt as made you act more mature, or if it’s simply because you’ve endured too much lately to fight me anymore. But I like your attitude, and I will reward it, just as I will punish you when you misbehave. You will learn to obey and respect me, and you will thank me for my lessons. Feeling terribly pleased with himself and optimistic about his plan, Hook returned to his cabin to give Peter her privacy.
It took Wendy over two hours to finally reach the Indian Village. She had been nearly halfway to the Underground House before she even thought about where she was going and altered her course to the Village. It would be dangerous to try to enter the house without flying, and once she was within, it would be nearly impossible to leave. Also, the realization that she would be there alone, with no one coming home for her to wait for, was unbearable. For the first time since she’d come to Neverland, she was truly alone. Her boys had been kidnapped and Peter was Hook’s prisoner. It was even worse because the little girl knew that she was utterly incapable of helping any of them escape.
I’m useless… they’re all prisoners and I can’t help them… why couldn’t I help Peter? How could I just sit there and let Hook take her? Wendy no longer bothered wiping away the tears that fell from her eyes. It didn’t matter. Chief Panther will know what to do, she told herself, needing to believe in something. Maybe he can help me get back to Hook’s ship… if I could just speak to the Captain, maybe he’ll change his mind and let me stay with Peter. Or maybe the Indians will help me rescue her…
“Wendy!” a girl’s voice rang out, dragging her from her thoughts. Wendy looked up, startled to see tipis before her. Tiger Lily and Hard-To-Hit were jogging towards her, waving. Relief surged through her and she stumbled, her bare feet and aching legs betraying her at last.
Tiger Lily ran when she saw Wendy fall, and she called over her shoulder for her brother to fetch their father. She helped the tired girl sit up, wondering at her torn dress and dirty, tear-streaked face. “Wendy, what has happened?”
Wendy smiled at Tiger Lily, then turned her head to watch Chief Panther as he approached. “Captain Hook has Peter and the Lost Boys are gone…. There’s no one else that can help me.”
“Where are the Lost Boys if they’re gone?” Panther asked as he squatted beside the girl.
“I have them,” a woman’s voice said from behind him. Wendy and the Indians looked up to see Queen Gloriana standing there. “They are quite safe, Wendy. Will you come with me? Young Michael misses you terribly.”
“Michael,” Wendy repeated, feeling a horrible pulling within her heart. Should she go with the Queen and see her brothers, or stay here and try to help Peter?
“Why do you have the Lost Boys, Queen Gloriana?” Panther asked, his only outward sign of distress evidenced by the slight narrowing of his eyes.
“Peter Pan is no longer suitable as our Pan,” Gloriana said stiffly, trying to keep her voice steady, “so the boys are being tested as her replacement.”
“Her?” Panther repeated in surprise. He frowned and shook his head. “I knew her secret would not keep forever. But I did hope you and your King would not prove her fears were justified. If you are seeking to replace her, then she was correct to distrust you.”
“You knew?” Gloriana whispered, incredulous. “You knew and you did not tell us?”
“I and my people serve Neverland according to our pact,” Panther answered, “but you do not rule us. I agreed with my father that Neverland was best served by hiding her secret.”
“Why did she lie?” Gloriana asked urgently, hoping to solve the riddle at last. “And why does she claim to not remember anything?”
Panther turned back to Wendy and helped the girl to stand, taking the time to dust off her skirt and wipe her face clean. When the little girl was more composed, he stood and turned back to the fairy. “I do not know why Peter Pan was so afraid to be revealed as a girl. I was only a boy when I met her. She was in a tree, watching us in secret because she was too afraid to show herself. I was with my friends and heard the rustle in the branches. Thinking to prove my aim, I shot an arrow into the tree. Great was my surprise when, instead of a bird, the new Pan fell with my arrow in her belly.
“My father cared for her, and because I was to blame for her injury I assisted him. It was when he tried to remove the arrow that we discovered she was female. My father and Tinkerbell decided to help her hide the truth and made me forget what I’d seen. When I became Shaman, Tinkerbell removed the spell and allowed me to remember, because I would have to heal Peter from time to time. To better keep the secret, Peter also was made to forget, and all knowledge she had of the differences between man and woman was hidden from her.”
Panther shook his head again and thought before he continued. “The new Peter Pan, the one that was born when the old one forgot, he was much happier and less fearful than she ever was. It was the right thing to do.”
“But why didn’t anyone tell us?” Gloriana insisted, feeling betrayed all over again.
“Because Peter feared rejection more than she feared death. She would not allow my father to heal her until he and Tinkerbell promised to keep her secret.” He paused as he remembered that long-ago day, seeing once again the girl with her dagger-tip pressed to her own throat, the arrow still protruding from her. He remembered the naked fear in her eyes as she’d made her demands. “She said she’d rather die as a boy than to be sent back as a girl.”
And we’re fulfilling her nightmare by taking Neverland from her. I wish we had another choice! Gloriana sighed and asked another question. “Is that when Tinkerbell discovered the truth, or did she know before then?”
“I do not know,” Panther answered, “and I can tell you no more.”
The Queen nodded. She had a lot to talk to Oberon about when she and he returned from their respective duties. Hoping that everything went well with his visit to the pirate ship, she turned her attention back to her own duty. She looked down at Wendy, who and been listening intently to the conversation. “You must come with me, my dear. I need the Lost Boys to willingly submit to the tests, else it will hurt them. Will you come and talk to them? They’re upset and Michael keeps calling for you.”
“But Peter…” Wendy protested, torn by her loyalties.
“Peter is safe. Captain Hook cannot harm her, the magic in the collar protects her.”
“But she was hurt! She wouldn’t move or talk to me!”
“Come, Wendy,” Gloriana commanded. “I will put you more at ease later. For now, you are needed elsewhere. You cannot help Peter right now.”
Wendy hesitated only a moment longer before she stepped forward. Hook said he wouldn’t hurt her, he promised! And Michael needs me, he’s too little to take care of himself. Maybe I can help the boys escape, and we’ll all come back to help Peter! Thus decided, she took the fairy’s hand. Both she and the Queen disappeared in a flash.
Panther looked at Tiger Lily, sadness apparent in his expression. “Dark days are upon us, my child.”